the martial fartist

Can't Hate Everything

2010-09-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

Awesome Dave

2010-09-04T21:47:00.000-07:00

Got Me?

So, are you saying it doesn't look good?

2010-09-04T21:40:00.001-07:00

F-ing Magnets, how do they work?

2010-04-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

All the knowledge I will ever need

roman is as roman does

2009-11-13T07:41:00.000-08:00

sorry, I only want to post videos. I am kind of over sharing personal info

2009-03-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

How I was able to get married

2009-03-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

2009-03-06T19:07:00.001-08:00

anyone else remember this?

2008-10-04T11:50:00.001-07:00

this gave me nightmares as a kid.

in touch with my feelings

2008-05-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

I dislike a lot of stuff, but one thing I don't hide my affection for is the internet.

This is one reason I love it.

I'm boycotting Jiffy Lube

2008-04-03T10:15:00.001-07:00

They stole my ipod out of my car while I was getting my oil changed. Lame.

the sweetest thing that I have seen so far today

2008-02-13T09:09:00.001-08:00

Not the video per se, just when his glasses change.

I could rewind that one second for hours.

big in europe (lasting impressions)

2008-01-24T18:26:00.000-08:00

Growing up in america, and possibly because I was born in Texas, I tend to like things large. One of these things happens to be soda. Another one rhymes with cubes, but that is irrelevant.

When I was 15, my parents took me and my brother Dan on a european vacation. At that time I had cousins that were my age who had grown up in Germany, and were still living there. They had lived in America for a couple years while in elementary school, but had spent most of their years in Deutschland. I hadn't seen them in maybe 7 years until we got to Germany to stay for a week. It was pretty cool to see that they listened to some of the same music I did and liked some of the same stuff I was in to.

One night we were there, my cousins took us to hang out with their friends. It was pretty similar to what we did in America - basically aimless wandering. We went and played pool in a place where it seemed like all the kids were smoking cigarettes. They thought it was so weird that Dan and I didn't smoke, but I kind of thought the differences ended there. After a while, our group decided to leave. While we were walking the streets being shown how to kick the streetlight posts so they would shut off, I got really thirsty. I remember walking into a gas station, seeing nudie magazines on display (which was beyond awesome at that time in my life), pulling a pepsi out of a cooler, and paying for it. It thought it was about the size of a Big Slam bottle found in America (my cousins claim it was a 1.5 liter bottle), although a weird shape. I thought that it was nice that they had a big soda because I was, in fact, pretty thirsty. We resumed our walk towards some school or something, and I remember thinking it was weird that no one else bought a drink.

After a few minutes, one of their german friends said something to me in german, gesturing with his hand like he was drinking. My cousin explained that his friend wanted some of my drink. I told him in english that I had finished the pepsi a while ago. After the translation into german was complete, the germans all got this weird look on their faces and started talking loudly amongst each other. I had taken German in high school for 2 years, but I guess I never learned how to say "your cousin is totally awesome and I am so jealous of him!" in german. I guess I thought it was kind of funny, although I didn't even think twice about it. Maybe because they were german, and I didn't get what was going on, but I didn't think of that occurrence for another 7-8 years. The rest of the night was uneventful, although I had a nice time hanging out with my cousins.

So anyway, my cousins ended up moving to America in their twenties. I was able to spend more time with them and get to know them better. One day while talking to my cousin, he told me that his friends still talked about me all the time. I could understand this, because I am pretty awesome. But apparently they weren't talking about my awesomeness per se, but how incredible it was that I, with no problem, drank such a huge soda in such a short amount of time.

After spending significant time in Europe, drinking their puny excuses for beverages, I guess I understand why they thought it was weird. I had never seen a 1.5 liter bottle before ever, so I guess it was pretty sweet.

Oh yeah

2007-12-11T22:48:00.000-08:00

I just finished my last final of the semester. I feel pretty good. I actually enjoyed this semester, which I haven't done for a few years now.

I am struggling to find gifts for everyone this year; so much pressure to perform.

Instant Wussiness

2007-11-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

I was required to shave my facial hair completely for my Halloween costume this year. I haven't decided if it was worth it yet. I feel so weird and uncomfortable. I didn't realize how dependent I had become on my beard. Every time I look in the mirror I am reminded of how manly I am with a beard, and how wussy I am au naturel.

That is my nephew He-Man in the photo, by the way.

I wouldn't laugh at my own jokes

2007-10-28T17:29:00.001-07:00

if they weren't so funny.

I hate roadbikers

2007-09-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

Oh man. I understand that they want to exercise, but the immediate 'tude they cop when they get on their bikes is too much. I'm kind of embarrassed of how angry they make me.

new aesop rock

2007-08-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

Aesop Rock is a ridiculously good rapper. Check out his stuff. It will be worth your time. His new album "None Shall Pass" will be released the 28th of August. I can get you a sampler cd if you are serious about listening. I like to share with my friends.

new video

"daylight" one of his most famous songs.

Fast Cars, Danger, Fire, and Knives.

serious anticipation

2007-07-28T14:19:00.000-07:00

The new Kanye West album comes out Sep. 11. While I wasn't all that impressed with the direction of his last album, I have to say I'm totally feeling these 2 singles he has released for this new album. I really like this direction. For a mainstream rap artist, he's actually doing creative, envelope pushing stuff. I figured someone else might like it too. Check out both of the videos, you won't be sorry for long. Thank me later.

Coconut Records

2007-07-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

I love castles

2007-07-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

i also love treasure.

Did you know I like swords?

I'm pretty fond of fangs.

I can't live without crossbows.

I. Love. Anger!

Attempts at being positive

2007-07-06T08:01:00.000-07:00

I like complaining. I don't really have a good reason to justify it. I think it's pretty funny sometimes, which is most likely why I do it so much.

So in an effort to think in a positive manner, I thought it would be a good idea to feature stuff in my life that I'm appreciative of (friends, food, jokes, etc.).

So today's feature will be my longtime homeboy of something like 22-23 years. His name is Bubba. His real name is Brandon Shane Andrus. He's a cool dude.

Bubba has red hair. He is the 3rd of 4 children born to Kathy and Dwight Andrus.

I always thought Bubba would be chubby when he grew up, but he is all about fitness for some reason. I wish I had some shirtless photos of him, just to show you that I'm not playing around here. He's also a good example of being disciplined and accepting responsibility.

I think I like Bubba because he is constantly working on improving himself. I like him more as time goes on, because he improves himself and it's easier to like him.

Bubba is a shining beacon of honesty, levelheadedness, unselfishness, and a lot of other good qualities.

I could go on for hours here, but I'm starting to feel weird being so positive for this long.

So, in summary, Bubba is a great friend that I'm happy I have the opportunity of associating with.

Here's to you Bubba.

For the Ladies.......

2007-06-26T09:11:00.001-07:00

My sister-in-law Chantry just started a blog. It sounds like it is a buyers guide for the ladies. I was thinking that besides my good friend Micah Thompson, only girls blog and read blogs for the most part.

Anyway, Chantry usually likes and finds pretty cool stuff. To prove that she has good taste, she married into my family. I'm sold.

i don't know about this

2007-06-19T23:46:00.000-07:00

I just spent 20 minutes or so looking at other people's blogs. Blogging is actually kind of lame. I didn't realize this for a while for some reason . Maybe I'll change my mind tomorrow, or find more evidence that supports this new theory of mine. I guess it doesn't make much sense that i'm writing this in a blog.

2nd Grade

2007-06-16T00:47:00.001-07:00

So get this. My 2nd grade teacher decided to take a photo of each student and attach them to a piece of paper. The paper had a few blank lines for us to write about what we enjoy doing. Everyone was writing about the sports and other boring business they liked. I wrote some stuff that I liked, when a need for attention set in. I decided to finish my paragraph of things I like with "and fart all day." I showed it to a few kids in the class, and got the attention i was seeking. I got kind of nervous that I was going to get in some kind of trouble with the teacher, so I erased the last penciled in line about loving to fart all day with my pencil eraser before handing in my mini-biography. My teacher hung all the papers out in the hall outside of the classroom.

A few days later, my parents went to some big parent teacher conference thing where everyone walked around the school and got to know each other. According to them, pretty much every kid's parents were there. Also, according to them, my eraser didn't work that well. They said a small crowd had formed around my photo and were pointing and laughing at my very legible declaration of my love of farts.

I'm sorry mama..........

#1 FAN

2007-05-24T00:28:00.000-07:00

Nachos, in their simplest form, are usually tortilla chips covered in melted cheese. First created in 1943 by Ignacio "Nacho" Anaya, Anaya's original nachos consisted of fried tortilla chips covered with melted cheese and jalapeño peppers.

Zoologists point out that no female mammal other than the human has breasts of comparable size when not lactating and that humans are the only primate that have permanently swollen breasts. This suggests that the external form of the breasts is connected to factors other than lactation alone.

info found on wikipedia beeotch

HOT ROD

2007-05-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

This movie should be pretty good. These guys make totally funny short movies, so I'm hoping they have enough to last a whole movie.
Judging by the previews, it could be pretty funny.

Check out stuntmanforever.com, or thelonelyisland.com.

making dreams a reality

2007-05-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

So get this. I've been playing solitaire on my phone (which is way awesome, fyi) for almost 6 months now. I can usually finish a game in about 3 minutes 45 seconds, which is pretty respectable. But everytime I play, I shoot to finish under three minutes. I don't even want to know how many hours i've spent playing - but it is pretty sad, even considering how boring every meeting, class, and drive in traffic I have is. I once finished at 3 minutes 01 second and almost stabbed a homeless person out of sheer anger.
So i think you understand, how pumped and thoroughly convinced of my awesomeness I was when I finished at 2 minutes 50 seconds!
I would like to thank your mother since it is mothers day.
I would also like to thank my brain, my eye hand coordination, my strength and agility, and who could forget my homies - my thumbs. peace.

so good.

2007-05-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

So anyway,my favorite rap record release of the year has been El-P's "i'll sleep when you're dead." This album is so much better than I thought it would be. El-P's stuff is usually pretty abrasive and takes a while to fully appreciate. This album however, is a little easier to get into.

new video "smithereens"

an older video "deep space 9mm"

i'll be at his concert may 12.

It's going to be titty city.

i'm so excited

2007-04-19T16:38:00.000-07:00

One time in high school, I burped really loudly during a quiet moment in a play about helen keller. Then, this old lady teacher reached across some people and slapped me in the face! hard! i should have sued.